May 10, 2009

Mother's Day, 2009

I am not sure that there is any way to describe the range and disparity of emotions that took place inside of me this morning.  I knew from the beginning that today's church service would be emotional.  It seemed that everyone we knew dedicated a baby of theirs at church today.  It was a like a club that we were not a part of.  As if that weren't bad enough, it was not so hard to remember that it was not that long ago that we thought we would have been part of that club today.  

As the first few babies were prayed for, all I could think about was our baby that we are still waiting to meet.  What would it look like now?  What would it's temperament be?  What would Sophia and Noah think about having a baby in the house?  How much would I love to hold that baby right now?

But then, as we came to the last several babies, my mind turned to the babies I DO have and get to hug and squeeze and hold on to every day.  And who but another mother can understand what that is like?  This is the place where you could insert so many cliches about what it means and feels like to be a mom- and they would be all true.  But those of us who have had this privilege know that there really aren't any words to explain it.

And so, we brought two tired and whiney kids home from church today, and all I could think was, "Thank you, Heavenly Father!!!!"  And I held those two whiney kids, and squeezed all of my love into them, laid them down for their naps and asked God  to help me cherish every moment- even the tired and whiney ones.  
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