November 23, 2013

Things I Never Thought I'd Say

#4572:
"Did you just wipe your toothbrush on her bottom?"

So thankful the answer to that one was no. I don't always get so lucky.

November 17, 2013

Toilet Paper. Like it. Awesome!!!

Potty training MUST be easier by the 4th time around, right? I would like to say I am an expert at this subject by now, but the truth is that I suck at potty training. Thankfully, my kids have all learned to use the bathroom in spite of me.

It appears the 4th one will be no different. I think she's teaching herself, actually. I pulled the little potty out several months ago, just so she could warm up to it. But I've never been so presumptuous (ambitious) as to say, "We're potty training." And yet, several times a day she tells me, "Go potty. BADLY!" Usually as I'm herding all the cats kids out the door. Or when we're in the middle of the grocery store. And when she's first learning, I can't tell her no, can I? Even if I know there's only about a 10% chance she'll actually go?

In any case, she loves to sit on the potty. Whether it produces results or not. And her motivation to go? Toilet paper. And washing her hands. Really, I thought all kids were motivated by candy or other treats. Not this one. She just really wants the toilet paper. Ranking right near the top of "Things I Never Thought I'd Say" is my latest mantra: "You can have the toilet paper as soon as you go potty. No toilet paper until you go pee or poop." To which my little OCD hygienist responds, "WANT IT!! Toilet paper. Like it. AWESOME!! Wash hands!!!" In varying decibel levels.

Good thing she's cute!


November 14, 2013

A Cabin in the Woods with No Parents

Tonight's dinner time conversation went a little something like this:

Little Man: "I wish on Halloween, we were in a cabin in the woods with no parents."
Mom: "What if you were in a cabin in the woods with no parents and you woke up in the middle of the night with a bad dream? What would you do?"
Little Man: "Eat some Halloween candy." Pause. "And then go back to bed and dream about Ninja Turtles. Or something that fights."
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