Things to Remember in a Day

As a mom of many small children, do ya ever stop to ponder all the things you must remember in a day?  Today was a very typical summer's day for us, and I can't tell you how many times I thought about all the things I needed to remember.

My perfect mental plan was for us to get out the door at 10:00 to meet some dear friends at a park just five minutes from our house- at 10:30. Those of you who are not moms of small children are scratching your heads at this point trying to figure out why we needed a half an hour. Those of you who ARE moms of small children are nodding your heads in total understanding.

And for the record, it turns out I have learned just a few things about mothering small children, because here's how the morning schedule played out:
9:55- I hopped in the shower.  Now or never, right?
10:00-Comb hair with one hand (because we all know styling is a long gone luxury and combing now constitutes styling), brush teeth with the other.
10:05- Grab a green pepper, broccoli, carrots, meat and cheese out of fridge for lunch, add some ranch dip for good measure to insure that my kids remember I am a GREAT mom!  Finish packing lunch.
10:10- Round up all buckets/shovels/etc. from sandbox in backyard to take with us, while instructing kids to get on Crocs and start strapping themselves in carseats.
10:13 Fill water bottles.  3 of them.  Ice AND water.
10:15 Get Sweetest P out of bed, into carseat.
10:18 Grab camera, phone, crackers, swim gear, diaper bag, baby, sunglasses and head out the door.
10:19 Back in the house for my forgotten water bottle still on the counter.
10:20 Get Noah off his bike, into the van and strapped in his carseat.
10:22 Pull out of driveway
10:30 Arrive at park EXACTLY on time.  Super impressed with myself.  My friend is waiting for us, kids in the stroller, sunscreening many small children, 5 minutes ahead of me and putting me to shame.

DISCLAIMER: This schedule involves not one iota of exaggeration, and now you non-moms-of-small-children might understand why I allotted myself a half an hour to get to a park five minutes from my house!

So...back to that list of things I need to remember for today.  On this very typical summer day, it went something like this:
*swimsuits on kids-check
*towel-check
*dry clothes/underwear for later-check
*picnic blanket-check
*stroller-check
*stocked diaper bag-check
*lunch-check
*Sophia's vitamins-check
*knife to cut green pepper-check
*Ranch dip for veggies, so kids think I'm a GREAT mom-check
*water bottles x3-check
*water toys-check
*Crocs for kids to wear in very rocky water-check
*camera-check
*sunscreen-check
*Money to ride the little train-check
*baby-check
*Make kids go to the bathroom before we leave.  Easier here than there-check.
*Have kids move bikes out of the way for Dad's car when we get home-check.
*Return movies to library: TBD.

We hit the road, my brain intact after all that hard work, and I'm feeling like Mom extraordinaire for remembering it all.

We get to the park, and as the day progresses, I realize the things I've forgotten:
*deodorant.  Note to self: must keep some in the car for exactly this reason.  Dear Jesus, help me not to smell.  Too much.
*To fix Sophia's hair before we left.
*To APPLY the sunscreen I ingeniously remembered.
*To GIVE Sophia the vitamins I remembered to bring along.
*When the last time my kids had a bath.  Which I discovered while fixing Sophia's hair.  At the park.  With mud on her head.  From the mud pit she played in last night.  (In my defense, there were showers at the mud pit, and I thought we had gotten it off.  Turns out I was wrong.  We missed some.)
*To make sure kids haven't REMOVED anything from the aforementioned stocked diaper bag.  Like burp rags.  For my favorite Sweetest P- who happens to be a VERY spitty baby.
*To take the chicken out of the freezer for dinner tonight.
*To CHANGE the baby's diaper with the again said diaper bag.  Now I'm feeling like a TERRIBLE mom.
*That Sophia WILL need to go to the bathroom 5 minutes after we get there, even if I did remember to make her go before we left home.  And every hour after that.  No matter what.  It's never convenient.  I may think teaching the kids to go in the river/stream we were playing in is the best idea I've had all day.  Until I realize what I've forgotten about this is that once they do so, they will announce to everyone and anyone that they have just done so.  And be so marveled at the fact that they can go in the water that they just might do so every 15 minutes just for fun.

And that, my friends, about sums it up.  Things to Remember in a Day- or alternately titled: Why My Brain Just Might Explode.  Or so I feel some days!

Chillin'.  It's what I do best.

Watching the train pass.

Playing in the river/stream.

And yes, last but not least, I leave you with the documentation that if you teach your kids to pee in the water, they may do it frequently just for fun.  For clarification and redemption, the water was flowing downstream, and there was no one behind us!

Brownies and Barrettes

It's been one of those days.  The kind where it's 9:30 at night and I'm sitting at the kitchen table engaged in too many open tabs on the Internet while emotionally eating a very large, mediocre mint layer brownie.  It's not even that good, but after this day I somehow feel like it's justified.  (Which could would explain those last few pounds of baby weight that just won't seem to go away.)  And yet, now that I've owned and admitted it, I'm fully contemplating a second slightly less large, mediocre mint layer brownie.

I digress.  This day wasn't all that unusual, but yet somehow I feel like I have to document it.  All you stay-home-mom readers are fully allowed to roll your eyes and shake your heads at me.  I can already hear you thinking, "Get over it.  That's the life."  And yet I still find myself laughing out loud at the absurdity of it all.  And wanting to write about it just to be able to laugh at the life.


It started out as a fairly average day in the Nielson household.  I am so blessed that Tim's job allows him to leave for work later than a lot of other husbands I know.  This provides numerous blessings- mostly for me!  When I'm disciplined enough, I get time with the Lord first thing in the morning.  I go for a run.  When I'm really lucky (ie: get up early enough to squeeze in all 3 activities), I can even get a shower afterwards.  And my wonderful husband graciously gets the kids up and going on breakfast while I'm busy with all those things. 


So that's how the day started.  It went downhill shortly thereafter.  Tim left for work.  The  20 month old I was watching for the day showed up next.  All is well so far.  Managing 4 kids 4 and under.  No problem.  I'm super mom.  I've got it under control.  HA!


I fed Phoebe at about 10:30 while the kids were down in the playroom.  She's a pretty speedy eater, so I was fairly convinced she'd be done before they found themselves in too much trouble.  Does Noah wearing a dress count as trouble? (Maybe this would be a good time to read my previous post about Noah needing a brother.)  I was glad that Tim wasn't home to witness it, but I almost considered it worth it to pay the $10 fee our phone carrier charges for picture messages. Noah was SO proud to be playing dress up princess with Sophia!  

Lunch time.  Sophia and Noah were downstairs playing in the playroom.  Phoebe was sleeping.  Noelle was wandering around behind me in the kitchen.  This was actually a very good thing because I was confident with the fact that she was right there where I could keep an eye on her.  Then I realized:  I am used to a house full of kids, but I have forgotten that my kids have gotten older.  They've passed toddler stage.  They are oh-so-mature preschoolers now.  I realized this when I ingeniously put the drinks on the table first.  Wouldn't have thought anything of it- until Noelle climbed into Noah's chair which she had already claimed for her own and dumped Sophia's entire glass of water all over herself.  Hel-lo brainiac, note to self: do not put drinks on the table first with a toddler roaming around.  Duh.


This was a minor fiasco, I know.  I finished the assembly line of lunch plates.  (After a million internal questions of how to feed a 20 month old.  I had forgotten.  Completely.  What can she eat?  What is she not allowed to have at this stage?  What is too hard for her to chew?  How small do the bites need to be?  Does she get a plate?  Fork?  Spoon?  What does she need to drink?)  I rounded all the kids up and got them seated.  We even remembered to pray- I think.  At this point, Noah is in his third dress of the day.  


Our landlord pulled up.  Interruption number one.  (Are you counting yet?  If not, you should be!)  What a perfect time for him to bring someone to investigate our roof.  It's needed replacing for YEARS.  It appears now's the time. ( Well, not quite. They'll start work next week.)  Noah promptly tells Brian, "I am wearing a DRESS!"  I don't bother to mention to Brian that this is not standard procedure in the Nielson house.  After a brief conversation with Brian, I returned my attention to the kids at the table.  Thankfully they were at least contained.  Time to replace the aforementioned drink that was now all over Noelle's shirt instead of in Sophia's cup.  Noelle, apparently does not use a spoon?  As evidenced by the fact that her macaroni and cheese is all over her chair and the floor.  So I took the spoon away, quickly to realize maybe the problem wasn't the spoon.  It seems Noelle prefers her food on the floor, rather than in her mouth.  Sophia and Noah needed seconds.  Phoebe's waking up.  Who says moms need to eat lunch?  The 3 kids at the table finished lunch and ran back to the playroom.  I got Phoebe up.  Brian came back.  We chit-chatted it up for awhile- really, I had nothing else to do, right?  


The kids, who had been in the playroom, had migrated to the street out front.  Oh, I mean yard out front.  (Really, I was able to stop them before they got to the street.  They only made it as far as the sidewalk.)  Thankfully, Brian understood this cue and used it as a chance to exit the conversation.  


Nap time.  This was a carefully orchestrated dance of finding bedrooms and beds and pack and plays and sheets and blankets and lovies.  Finally.  4 kids sleeping.  Simultaneously.  For 15 minutes, if I was lucky.  Again, who says moms need lunch?  It's a forgotten pleasure at this point, as we're closer to dinner time than lunch.


Did I mention that this is a Wednesday and Tim is working late?  Oh lordy, if ever there was a day that I could use some back up relief!  Before dinner time, I did manage to convince Sophia and Noah that they needed to let me rest for a few minutes if they wanted dinner tonight.  I took a 15 minute power nap on the couch while they played, then went to the kitchen to prepare dinner.  (And when I say prepare, I mean take out a few carrots and warm up some leftover pizza.)  The kids come the table.  Noah's dress is long gone.  It's been replaced by about 24 of Sophia's barrettes in his hair.  No lie. They've moved from princess dress up to beauty shop in one day!  Lord, can I trouble you for a brother for Noah? 

After dinner, I finally convinced the kids that beauty shop is much better to play with girl's hair.  So by the time you've made it to the end of this sentence, I'm sure you already figured out who the next victim was.  Doesn't every mother at some point proudly sport her kid's hair-do?  Since I had no intentions of leaving the house for the night, I figured I was safe.  Until we're reading bedtime Bible stories and the door bell rings.  An unannounced visitor at 8:00 pm?  Really?  Are you kidding me?  After a few moments of panic, I decided I was in absolutely NO condition to answer the door.  I am not exaggerating to say that I had every single one of Sophia's barrettes on my head.  After sweetly explaining to Sophia and Noah that bedtime stories and prayers were more important than whoever was at the door at the moment, I tucked them safely into bed.  "Good night.  I love you.  Sleep tight.  Don't let the bedbugs bite."  Times 3- the ritual isn't complete until we've all said it.  


Ah, sweet relief.  Finally.  Maybe I shouldn't mention the TWO trips back into the bedroom to (forcefully) "remind" Noah that there is NO talking and playing at bedtime.


Maybe my mediocre mint-layer brownie(s) were well deserved after all?

Learning to Ride

We went for a family walk tonight.  Let me tell you how family walks have changed over the years.  Tim and I used to walk for miles along the Highline Canal Trail just behind our house.  In fact, we did that for years, and it didn't change until Sophia was born.  While I was in labor with Sophia, we walked for miles along that trail.  And then she was born and she joined us on those walks.  We'd put her in the stroller and away we'd go.  Then we moved, Noah was born, we purchased a double stroller, and it still didn't change that much.  We might have shortened our distances just slightly.  Then Phoebe joined us, and our walks began to change.  Not so much because of Phoebe.  I wrap her up in the Moby wrap, and she's good to go for hours.  But more because of the two preschoolers we tow along with us.  Sophia and Noah are not as content to sit in the stroller for miles anymore.  In fact, this marks the first season that Sophia has taken to riding her bike along with us rather than riding in the stroller.  The problems with this are numerous.
1) Her little legs don't last as long as ours.  2) She's still learning to ride (even with the training wheels on) and her bike isn't that great, it has more than a slight lean to the right, and she's fairly slow.  3.) She is easily distracted by ALL things around us.  4.) She frequently spends more time looking at her feet pushing the pedals around than at the path in front of her.  How often do we tell her to look up so that she doesn't crash?  If it weren't for Tim or I reminding her to watch where she's going, she would most definitely ride her bike straight into whatever tree or obstacle should happen to jump in her path.

Tonight, as I walked along behind her, watching her head turn down to watch her feet pedal, I couldn't miss the analogy.  Watching her learn to ride first made me think of Peter stepping out of the boat towards Jesus.  And then I couldn't help continue on and personalize the analogy.  It reminded me so much of myself learning how to navigate this journey we call life.  How often am I so busy concentrating on what I am doing with my life that I take my eyes off of my Heavenly Father in front of me?  I get so absorbed in what I'm doing that I forget to keep my eyes on the Lord and what HE wants me to do.

I love how God can use even the every day moments of life to be such screaming reminders to not be distracted by the world around us and to take our eyes off ourselves and stay focused on what He has planned for us.  And I'm humbled to remember that even after all these years, I am still just learning to ride!

Minivan Mama

We said we'd NEVER own a minivan.  We hated minivans.  We weren't going there.  Not gonna happen, no way, not ever.

Then our family started growing.  We started realizing we needed a bigger vehicle.  SUVs are expensive.  And lots of them still only seat 5 people.  All our peers started driving minivans.  They kept telling us all the perks- more seating, sliding doors, more space, fair gas mileage, cheaper price tag.

And the next thing we knew, we were owners of a minivan.  How did that happen?  I'm still not sure.  But what's even worse is that my minivan is by far the greatest car I've ever owned!  And not only do I now drive a minivan, but I LOVE my minivan.  We (the kids and I) thank God regularly for our van.

So this week, my minivan has been in the shop.  (And I only have myself to blame for putting it there, as I rear-ended another minivan on Easter morning.)  Tim dropped it off early Tuesday morning, and by Wednesday I was loosing my mind!  I thought I was thankful for my van before, but there is nothing like being without it to remind me how grateful I am.  Tim had graciously attempted to work it out to leave the other car with me so that I wasn't stuck at home, but our other car doesn't accommodate 3 carseats across the back seat.

As a result, I've spent the better portion of the week hanging out at home with the kids.  I have quickly realized that I am not a stay-at-home kind of stay-home mom.  On the bright side, I have been thankful for the opportunity to slow down and cherish some quality time playing with the kids.  (If only the weather would have gotten the memo to cooperate and let us play outside more during our confinement.)  On the other hand, I LOVE my minivan!  And can't wait to have it back!

Crowns and Dresses

You may have heard me say that Noah needs a brother.  Watching him wrestle all through the church gym with a buddy of his may have helped convince me that his masculinity is not to be questioned, but it's conversations like the following that lead me to realize how influenced he is by his sister.

(After me singing "The Old Rugged Cross" at the kids' request for an Easter song at bedtime):

Sophia: Mommy, why is there a part about crowns in the song?

Me: Because God will give us crowns when we get to heaven.

Noah: Will God give me a dress, too?

Me: No, Noah, I don't think God will give you a dress.  Why?

Noah: Because you have to wear a dress with a crown.  Princesses wear crowns and dresses.

A Pause in the Day

Once upon a time, I considered myself a writer. Not a great writer, mind you, but one of the millions that would have categorized myself as an "aspiring writer." But then life happened. I fell in love and was distracted by a boy. That boy needed someone to put him through school, so I became very distracted by a job that surprisingly became my next love. When it became the boys turn to work, I became distracted by yet a new love- kids - of my own.

And now, after years of distractions, I find myself in a place where I need to spend some time doing some things just because I enjoy them. So I'm returning to writing. Let's see how long it takes me to return to form! I had forgotten how hard it is to sit down and write, even when you are not particularly finding yourself inspired.

So the first question is, "What should I write about?" And although I can't seem to think of anything extremely profound, I keep coming back to one particular moment in my day.

Approximately 4:00PM in the Nielson house on a Thursday afternoon:

The small people in the house were sleeping. I sat on the couch with my Bible open in front of me, although it was managing to inch it's way off my lap as my head was bobbing and I was half-heartedly fighting off sleep myself. The sun reflected off the spring snow that covered the ground outside the mammoth window that spans the back wall of our living room. All was as peaceful as a stay-home mother to three could ask for.

For a moment anyway. Until I heard Phoebe's newborn cries for attention coming from her temporary bed in my room. I gave her a few minutes to see if she would settle back to sleep on her own. No such luck, this time. I wasn't too disappointed. After all, it's only taken me three kids to learn to not just cherish and appreciate the opportunities to savor a moment with an 8 pound bundle of sweetness, but to also anticipate them.

As I sat in the midst of my only semi-clean living room feeding my daughter, I couldn't help reflecting on one thing: Blessings.  I have been abundantly blessed beyond measure.  My life is so full, and I feel like I could ask for nothing more.  I married the most wonderful man and father there is.  He has a job he loves, which I have come to realize is a blessing beyond compare in itself.  I have fulfilled my life time dream of being a stay home mom.  Most days, there is nothing I would rather do than spend the day with the 3 sweetest kids I know.

It wasn't a major moment.  Just a pause in my day to remind me that I really do love my life.  

The Transition

So many people scared me about the transition from man-to-man to zone defense. In my very informal, non-scientific poll, I would estimate that about 80-90% of people I've talked to have said that the transition from 2-3 kids is the most difficult. I spent the last month of my pregnancy freaked out about how we were going to add a whole extra person to the chaos that already existed in our home.

And then I actually wised up for just a moment. The light bulb came on just long enough for me to realize that I needed to get on my knees and plead for strength and wisdom for the next stage of life. So I began to do just that. Every time it crossed my mind, I would all but beg God to help us in the transition as our family grew. I asked for everything I could think of to help us in the process: an easy baby, a baby that slept well, Sophia and Noah to adjust quickly, a slower schedule and empty calendar, and the list went on.


We are now already a month into life as a family of five. And every day since Phoebe arrived, I have been amazed at how God has answered my pleas. There have been so many times where His grace has been almost physically tangible in my foggy, sleep weary state. He has given me exceedingly, abundantly more than I could ever have dreamed. I know it's early on, but I have been amazed at how smoothly Tim and I have transitioned into the new style of parenting defense. So far, the zone defense has treated us well, and every time I actually take time to reflect on that, I can't help but feel showered by love from my Heavenly Father. The analogy is poignant as I can't help but feel the adult version of what Phoebe must feel.

Before sleep time, we wrap Phoebe up in an extra large blanket, made specially for her, just for this purpose. It keeps her warm and tight. It keeps her arms from flailing and startling her out of sleep, as sometimes happens with newborns. And then, when time allows, we take a few minutes to snuggle her up on our chest, where she feels our heart beat , under our chins, where she smells the familiarity of a loving parent savoring a moment that will all too quickly pass.

So far, in our lives as parents to THREE! kids, I can't help but feeling as if God has wrapped me up in warm flannel blanket, made especially for me for this purpose of snuggling me close to Him, so that I feel warm, safe, protected and beyond all LOVED by a Father who loves me beyond compare and has heard my prayers and answered them beyond my wildest dreams!

A New Chapter

Phoebe Grace Nielson
joined the family at 12:39 AM on Tuesday, February 23, 2010.
She weighed in at 6 lbs. 10 oz. and measured 19 1/4 inches long.


After a full day of questioning if this would be the day that our family grew, Phoebe made quite the dramatic entrance into this world just about 20 minutes after we arrived at the hospital. Although I had had contractions all day long, they were irregular and sporadic, so we carried about business as usual. The contractions finally picked up at about 11:00 pm, and then my water broke shortly thereafter. Tim made a frantic dash to drop off Sophia and Noah at our friends house, and then we left for the hospital at about 11:45. We got there at about 12:20 AM, and I was holding Phoebe in my arms not long afterwards. In fact, we filled out the medical consent forms after she was born- giving the doctors permission to do what they needed to do (or in our case what had already been done!). I never even got an IV prick or anything!

After a few very quiet, uneventful days in the hospital, we brought Phoebe home to join the family. She is a perfect baby. She is SO content and happy. She's been smiling almost from the beginning. She's like clockwork on her three hour schedule and usually sleeps better than any of the rest of us. More often than not, I have to wake her up to feed her.

We are all SO grateful for the newest addition to our family. And we are SO grateful for how smooth the transition has been so far. We know there are tough days and rough spots ahead, who doesn't have them?, but so far, we feel nothing but blessed.

Mother's Day, 2009

I am not sure that there is any way to describe the range and disparity of emotions that took place inside of me this morning.  I knew from the beginning that today's church service would be emotional.  It seemed that everyone we knew dedicated a baby of theirs at church today.  It was a like a club that we were not a part of.  As if that weren't bad enough, it was not so hard to remember that it was not that long ago that we thought we would have been part of that club today.  

As the first few babies were prayed for, all I could think about was our baby that we are still waiting to meet.  What would it look like now?  What would it's temperament be?  What would Sophia and Noah think about having a baby in the house?  How much would I love to hold that baby right now?

But then, as we came to the last several babies, my mind turned to the babies I DO have and get to hug and squeeze and hold on to every day.  And who but another mother can understand what that is like?  This is the place where you could insert so many cliches about what it means and feels like to be a mom- and they would be all true.  But those of us who have had this privilege know that there really aren't any words to explain it.

And so, we brought two tired and whiney kids home from church today, and all I could think was, "Thank you, Heavenly Father!!!!"  And I held those two whiney kids, and squeezed all of my love into them, laid them down for their naps and asked God  to help me cherish every moment- even the tired and whiney ones.  

New Addition to the Family

We did it. We bit the bullet and became the true "All American Family." A girl, a boy and a mini-van. What more could you dream of? Tim and I always said that we would NEVER drive a mini van. Well folks, never has become now! And as much as we wanted to fight it, there was no way around it. Once we opened the door to the possibility of becoming a van family, there was really just no way around it. If we had enough money to buy a big SUV upfront, it would have done nothing more than sit in our driveway. At nearly $4.00 a gallon, a trip to the grocery store might have broke our bank! And once we got over that, we started realizing that really, a mini van is the most practical. They have the most storage space behind the backseat for all the junk the kids insist on hauling back to the Midwest when we go visit. They are the easiest to get multiple kids in and out of. Etc, etc, etc. the reasons were too many to ignore, and so here we are. Proud owners of our first mini van! Yes, I did even say proud owners. We LOVE our van! And I do mean WE- everyone of us. I think the kids would be happy to say in there all day and night. They love to climb around and explore in it. We don't even have to go anywhere; they're just happy to have it in our driveway with the doors open, climbing around. Sophia especially talks about the van all the time. Her famous, definitive quote on the subject:
"This is NOT a car. This is a BAN!" (Which she very definitely corrected me on at one point when I said something about putting my seatbelt on in the car. Oops, silly me!)

2006 Honda Odyssey

Off for a ride in the new "ban".

P.S. Let me just dispel any rumors before they even begin. One of our friends, upon learning of our new acquisition promptly asked, "When are you expecting?" The answer, my friends and family, is WE'RE NOT! The van truly is the new addition to the family!